University can be an enjoyable and fun environment once you fit in and have friendships to share evenings, opinions, and afternoons of study with. A student newly arrived in a new city, however, does not face this situation. In his hometown, he knows exactly where his friends’ hangout bar is located, who will be the prey for taunts after Sunday games, and who to call to arrange a date with girls. Life is smiling on them, the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. Moreover, in her home, every student is treated like a king: he sleeps as much as he wants, the house is always clean and tidy, any of his wishes are granted by a parent whose judgment is clouded by unconditional love, not bad!
Having landed in a new environment and left his kingly throne behind to put on the shoes of a garment boy, every student feels lonely, his lifelong friends are miles away and the reassuring cocoon of family is only a memory. In short, the world is collapsing on them. No matter how motivated a student feels to embark on a new adventure, it is not easy to fit into an environment that is completely different from what one is used to. But before you let depression overcome you, attempt suicide and swallow a whole bottle of pills, it is good to remember that, after all, you do not achieve a goal without effort and commitment. In addition, the people the student will meet do not know him, know nothing about him, may even find him funny and witty. Most of the time they are in the same situation as you and are well disposed to bonding.
Comparing yourself with strangers who are not prejudiced against another person can even push you to be more honest and make yourself known for who you really are. In a family environment, however, people tend not to talk about certain topics for fear of being teased or judged. The individuals in front of him may not approach him just because of the things they have heard or think they know about him. This is why you find yourself having more difficulty making friends in your own environment than in a completely new place. There are many cases in which solid bonds are formed with people who are almost complete strangers, sometimes even longer lasting than with childhood friends.
Theuniversity environment is the best gathering place you can find in a new city. Faculties themselves organize leisure activities that are often advertised on bulletin boards. Instead of immediately thinking that they are a bore never to be done in life, integrating into these electives makes possible friendships with like-minded people for interests other than study and are a first place to meet new people.
It is a good idea not to isolate yourself from events organized by the university.
A student sports meeting, a play, a concert, are useful times to socialize with others. In addition, considering the numerical amount of children attending the same institution, it is really impossible for one not to meet pleasant peers. However, one must choose well the people to join. What is desired is to have friendships to entertain himself in leisure moments, but which do not distract him too much from his main goal, which is to gain a degree. Friends who are the “life of the party,” always the center of attention, are all very well, but they cannot be the only ones belonging to the circle of acquaintances. Thus, one runs the risk of surrounding oneself with people who also become a problem in some situations. Conversely, too many serious friends with whom one cannot talk about anything but study are not helpful either.
A good balance of Wednesday from the Addams Family and Jiminy Cricket is the right person to start a relationship with.
Every person is afraid of stepping out of his or her familiar zone and trying different situations than usual, but in order to establish new sympathies, one must above all be approachable. It is a good idea to pose in a kind and helpful manner toward others, remember the names of people you have just met, and try to tell interesting things about yourself so that you will not be forgotten. Using social media can also help. Entertaining conversations online, posting on friends’ message boards helps advance camaraderie. Here, too, one must act with restraint. When you are too persistent, you only get the result of being singled out as a stalker.
However, classmates are a good starting point for new affections. You start by asking for help to study, and with a little bit of attendance you even get to go out in the evening realizing a wider network of friendships. Eating in the cafeteria or at a renowned place for lunch rather than isolating oneself with a sandwich at the gardens can also be a cue to get to know people outside one’s course of study. Attending public study places such as libraries or parks if the weather permits can also bring the student closer to different people.
Shutting oneself in is never a good choice.
Roommates are another source of impending affinity since they are the first acquaintances made in the college environment. There are few students with Rockefeller-like last names who can afford apartments all to themselves. They usually rent a room in a house already inhabited by other students. Here the roommate is transformed from a cause of perennial quarrels into a valuable resource for new brotherhoods. In addition, roommates are not always freshmen. Some are already embedded in the environment, have their own circle of acquaintances, may invite the student to parties. However, choosing the ideal roommate is not always possible, so we suggest you read our guide on questions to ask when looking for a new roommate.
Joining a gym can be a good way to meet different people and get back on track again. All this stress caused by the move, the study, the unhappy social life, it is only right that it should find an outlet in some way. Why not on a treadmill or during a fitness class? The gym at rush hour is thus transformed into a magical place for blazing friendships. Sports people then are always well disposed toward the soccer game, the run in the park, the social dinner with all the members. This creates fixed weekly appointments, close groups with which to build relationships that lead outside the sports arena perhaps to a drink downtown.
Another good method is to entertain a romantic relationship. As everyone knows, women are much more communicative animals than men, devoting themselves body and soul to social integration. She, shining in her own light, besides being the woman of your desires, already has her own circle to lean on and is quite happy to share companions with her Prince Charming. From here you can begin to get to know other people and mold your followers.
At this point you have all the makings of a fulfilling social life. A woman/man, friends, sports. The best advice that can be given to a person facing an awkward situation like this can be summarized in these few lines:
“always be yourself, surround yourself with people who make you happy, never forget where you come from and where you aim to go. Having friends is important, comparing ourselves with others makes us more self-aware.”
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